


Righteous Anger

by Callisto_HK



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, emotional hurt Tony DiNozzo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:18:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7088716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callisto_HK/pseuds/Callisto_HK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony had a gut feeling; Gibbs followed him because he knew Tony's gut wouldn't lie! They had no idea, though, that if, for once, they'd ignored that gut feeling, they would've been able to prevent a chain of events that followed it. Incidents that Tony definitely could do without! /Set in S12. Rated T for language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story happens early season 12 and the plot of it was written back then, so nothing of the new season and the new form of relationships between characters will be seen here! Possible spoiler alert for season 12 and those before it but the story is kinda AU; read and you'll find out why!
> 
> Fair warning, I still have problem with DiNozzo Sr. So, if you're a fan, maybe you shouldn't read this. But just keep in mind that I've had real lines of the show on my mind when writing this story! Lines that were said on the show but ignored later, which in my opinion should've been addressed properly!
> 
> More warnings will be added later, so please always check the A/Ns!
> 
> Tony-centric as usual!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this story and share your thoughts with me.

That was just not Tony's day... It had started well enough, but then they'd received a case which although had been easy to break, it hadn't been too easy to close and once again Tony had been the one taking one for the team and ending up with a concussion which at least was mild; it still meant that someone had to keep an eye on him that night and of course Gibbs had taken it upon himself to do so.

Now, normally they'd just go to Gibbs' place and Tony would stay the night, but this time they didn't do that because the whole day, Tony's gut had been churning, making him feel like he needed to go back to his apartment to check on things. He'd told Gibbs that he'd go and check things and then would go back to his boss' place, and that he didn't need a ride, but Gibbs refused to listen and told him that instead of taking the younger man to his place, he'd spend the night in Tony's apartment; after all, Gibbs had learned not to ignore Tony's gut feelings, either; if Tony felt something was wrong, then he'd make sure to be there to have his SFA's back.

They just had no idea that maybe for once it would've been better to ignore that gut feeling; because if they had, it could've prevented a chain of events that followed it.

Tony's head had started to throb really badly and all he wanted was to just go to his room and lie down but he soon realized that it wasn't going to be an option. As they entered the apartment, they found DiNozzo Sr. sitting on Tony's couch, nursing a big bottle of Jack Daniels which was almost empty.

Sighing, Tony looked back at his boss and silently apologized for what he knew was about to happen.

"Hey, Dad! What are you doing here?" He said wearily and thought that he really needed to talk to the building manager about letting people into his apartment; it was getting annoying. This was _his_ place; he was supposed to have some privacy.

"Juni'r." Senior slurred as he got up from the couch and swayed a bit as he walked to his son.

Both Gibbs and Tony saw how drunk the older man was and mentally prepared themselves to deal with him. Now Tony really wished Gibbs hadn't come with him; he really didn't need the embarrassment that his father was going to cause him.

"You come home awfully late." This time Senior sounded much more alert, but one look in his eyes would tell you that he was still very much drunk.

"Sorry, didn't know I had a curfew." Tony replied sarcastically. He really wasn't in the mood. "What are you doing here?"

"Watch your tone." His father warned.

"Or what?" Tony spat and then took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Dad, what's wrong? Why are you here?"

"Why do you think something is wrong? I came to see you. I do that a lot lately."

"Only when you need something." Tony muttered. "And why are you drinking again?"

"What? This?" Senior looked down at the bottle in his hand with amusement as if he'd just realized it was still there; happily, he took another big gulp from the bottle, emptying it completely.

"Boss, maybe you should leave." Tony looked at his boss.

"Like hell, DiNozzo." Gibbs growled. "Even if you weren't concussed, I wouldn't leave you with him like this."

"Umm, thanks, but I can handle him." Tony replied; seriously, he'd handled his drunken father when he'd been a kid; he sure could do that now that he was an adult; concussed or not.

"Hey, I'm right here." His father announced loudly.

"Yeah, unfortunately." Tony sighed and turned his gaze back to him. "And you could spare us all some time and me an even worse headache if you'd just tell me what you need."

The older man let out a heavy sigh, the stench of alcohol emitting from his breath. "I don't need anything from you. What makes you think someone like _you_ could do anything for me? I just had a bad deal and needed someplace to crash."

Tony bit back the retort that came to his mind and instead just clenched his fist. "Take the couch then. Boss," He turned to look at his boss again, "you can go; I'll be alright and will see you tomorrow. Thanks for-"

"I said no." Gibbs cut him off.

"Then take my bed, I'll-"

"Tony, go to your room; I know your place and know where to sleep. Go."

Tony nodded his head gratefully and turned to leave when his father's hand grabbed his arm. Tony frowned. "Dad?"

"I'm not done with you." The older man growled.

Hearing that, Tony suddenly felt like he was back at his childhood house. Shaking his head, he quickly stopped himself from thinking about those days. "Thought you said you just needed a place to crash."

"Right." Senior rubbed his temple. "Right. Forgot. You're not worth my time anyway."

Gibbs' face turned red with anger and he could see the hurt that flashed in his protégé's eyes. _Damn DiNozzo Sr. He'd never change._

"Yeah, you're drunk. Why don't you just go and sit on the couch? I'll get you a blanket." Tony's voice was strained, but he wasn't in the mood to fight or even dwell on his father's hurtful remark. That was always the case when the man was drunk, anyway. Nothing new. Although, he did prefer that it wouldn't happen in front of his boss.

"You do that. It's not like you're good for anything else."

"Because you're one to judge." Tony retorted coldly, not able to keep it inside, this time.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Tony decided to ignore the question, but his dad had other things in mind.

"I asked you a question, Boy." He spat angrily. "You think you're so much better than me, don't you? You think I embarrass you?" He laughed humorlessly. "Of course you do; you walk around and tell people I'm a conman, you worthless piece of shit."

Tony was getting angrier by the second; it'd been years since he'd heard his father sounding like that and it was maybe a good reminder why he'd cut the older man off. Lately, it seemed like he'd been just an ungrateful brat who couldn't understand that his father had been in pain after losing the love of his life; his father acted in a way that even Tony himself had been convinced he'd been the one making the mistakes, being way too sensitive and not understanding his father and his pain.

But this reminded him how it'd been back when his father had been a heavy drinker; when the man used to tell him that he'd end up in a gutter and other awful things on a daily basis.

"Well, what do you expect me to say?" Tony spat back, sounding just as furious. "You never tell anyone your son is a federal agent; doesn't that mean that you're just a conman who's afraid your acquaintances would back off if they knew you were related to a federal agent?"

"No, that just means I'm ashamed of you." Senior's words cut him deeply, and it was years of working on his masks that kept him from outwardly flinching.

Gibbs was ready to shoot Tony's father at that point; he was an expert in reading Tony's real feelings from his eyes and he could clearly see behind the younger man's masks; he saw the raw pain in his eyes as his father told him he was ashamed of him. But despite his better judgment, he decided to stay out of this one and let Tony handle his father; the last thing the younger man needed was for his father to think he needed someone else to fight his battles for him.

"You never amounted to anything. You were a dumb jock and when you failed even in your stupid sport, you had no choice but to become a cop. Nobody becomes a cop willingly; just like nobody enlists out of choice. All of them are people who weren't good at anything else."

"That's enough." Tony shouted; his face completely red now, eyes flashing with anger. "You wanna insult me; fine. But don't you dare insult the people who serve this country; as officers of the law or soldiers. You can _never_ understand what they sacrifice _every_ day so you could fucking enjoy your stupid drinks."

The punch that followed that angry remark caught Tony by surprise.

Instantly, Gibbs jumped in. "Heeeey." He pushed Senior away.

"What?" The other man shrugged Gibbs' hand off with annoyance. "He needed to shut up. He's got verbal diarrhea; don't tell me you haven't noticed or that you don't know how he needs a rough hand every now and then. I've seen you head-slapping him; I know you think the same."

Gibbs' eyes flashed. "That's not the same thing, you bastard."

"Oh, come on, Gibbs. It's alright. Junior has always been like this; a backhand or a kick here and a shove there would quickly put him in his place; he needs it and he knows it." The drunken man laughed uncontrollably, like he'd stated a funny fact.

Gibbs was so shocked that he couldn't even react. Had the drunken bastard just confessed to actually abusing his son when he'd been a little boy?

"You need to leave. Now!" Tony's voice was cold, but calm; his face totally expressionless. He'd never felt more embarrassed.

"You can't throw me out."

"That's funny; you threw me out of a house that was mine too when I was merely a child and you think I can't throw you out of _my_ apartment?"

"You stupid worthless bastard." Gibbs spat finally, and it was like he hadn't even heard Tony talk. "You don't deserve a son like him. Get the hell outta here and you'd better never show your stupid ass here again."

Senior rolled his eyes which caused him to sway a little. "Gibbs, nobody cares what you say; this is my son's home and I'll stay if I want."

Gibbs grabbed his arm and was about to bodily push him out of the apartment when the other man snapped and brought the bottle in his hand up to smash against Gibbs' head.

At the last moment, Tony's mind registered what was going to happen and he reached out to grab his father's forearm, but he'd reacted a second too late and instead of the arm, his hand landed on the bottle and with the force that Senior had put behind his move, the bottle smashed against Tony's hand, cutting into his palm.

"Goddammit." He yelled and didn't even see as Gibbs punched his father and pushed him against the wall.

"You're under arrest for assaulting a federal agent." The Lead Agent hissed furiously.

"Who? Him?" Senior was still not aware of what he'd done. "When are you going to see he's damaged goods? He's worth nothing; you will spare everyone lots of trouble by just throwing him out."

"He's a way better man than you could ever wish to be. The only worthless shit here is you. Everyone would be proud to have someone like Tony around."

"Gibbs." Tony called with strained voice as he tried to not clench his left fist or the shards of glass in his palm would cut even deeper. "Let him go."

"DiNozzo-"

"No. Let him go." To his father he said, "You need to leave... Just go."

Gibbs, reluctantly gave in and grabbed the other man by his lapel, opened the door and literally threw him out. "You better get lost or I _will_ arrest you." With that he slammed the door close.

**.**

**.**

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There will be some Abby-bashing in this story! I like her, I really do; but sometimes she oversteps her boundaries tremendously and the things she does when she decides it's alright for her to get involved in everyone's business just gets on my nerves!

Gibbs took a few second to calm down and when he turned around his heart ached as he saw the visible resignation in Tony's eyes and posture. "You should've let me arrest him."

"Not worth it." Tony said quietly, his eyes still on the door. "Besides, I've been embarrassed enough for one night." He then turned around and walked to the bathroom.

Gibbs followed him quickly, not wanting to let Tony think he had any reasons to feel unsettled. "Hey! He's the one who should be embarrassed, not you."

"He's my _father_." Tony said matter of factly. "Sorry you had to see that. You should've left when I told you to."

"Shut up, DiNozzo. Nobody holds _you_ responsible for your father's sins." He grabbed the first aid kid from the younger man's hand and ushered him back to the living room to clean his hand. "Thought if I stayed your father wouldn't make a scene." He added after a few moments. "Thought he'd leave and then you'd need someone because of that concussion."

He then continued to work in silence since Tony remained quiet with a faraway look in his eyes. Once he was done, he sat beside his agent and after a few seconds of contemplation said, "Thanks for that, by the way." He nodded towards Tony's hand, referring to what he'd done to save his Boss's life.

Tony just smiled lopsidedly. "You wouldn't have been here if not for me and that was my father; couldn't let him kill you."

"I'm here because I wanna be, DiNozzo." Gibbs said firmly. "And it's my fault that I thought your father had changed and that you should give him more chances." He didn't mention that he'd never thought Senior had been this bad!

Tony shrugged. "I thought he'd changed, too. And I knew him better than anyone else."

"He hit you a lot when you were a kid?"

Tony was startled by the question, but hid it quickly. "I... No. He wasn't abusive, Gibbs. It was really just a backhand here or a shove there."

"That's still abuse, Tony." Gibbs said softly.

"I wasn't home a lot, anyway."

"And that's negligence."

"Gibbs-"

"Yes, I know; it's in the past. Still, I should've known better than pushing you two back together."

"You wanted to help." Tony shrugged; although, to be honest, Tony had always wished someone had taken _his_ side when his father'd suddenly decided that he wanted to be a part of his son's life!

Gibbs nodded. "I did, but I should've trusted you to have a good reason to be so reluctant and always on guard."

Tony sighed and murmured a quiet "Yeah".

"Won't happen again." Gibbs promised. "Go get some rest. I'll wake you up in two hours. Tomorrow, we'll have Ducky to take a look at your hand and your cheek."

Tony's head snapped around, which turned out to be a not wise move since it made him dizzy, reminding him that he was concussed.

"Won't tell him anything if you don't want to."

Tony calmed down and breathed deeply. "Thanks."

He got up to go to his room to fetch Gibbs a blanket, when he returned, Gibbs stood up and put a hand behind Tony's neck and squeezed lightly. "I meant what I said to your father; I'm proud of you; as anyone else would be."

It didn't seem like Tony was ready to believe him and forget everything else and after the night he'd had, Gibbs couldn't blame him; still, the younger man smiled wanly and nodded his gratitude, before wandering off.

Standing there, Gibbs vowed to find a way to make Tony understand that he didn't need to be embarrassed for what his father had revealed or for what he'd said and done. It was always hard to see Tony so spent that he wouldn't even be able to keep up his ever present masks.

.

.

.

"Whoa, what happened to your face?" McGee exclaimed as soon as his eyes landed on Tony's face the next morning. "You were just hit in the head last night, weren't you?"

"Yes, Tim." Tony nodded slowly as he sat down at his desk.

"So what happened?"

"If you must know, a drunken bastard in front of my apartment didn't like it when I tried to walk past him and decided to punch me."

"Ouch." Ellie winced.

"Yeah."

"And what's with the brace on your hand?" McGee asked further, still looking suspicious.

"What? You think I'd stand there and let him assault me? I had to stop him."

"You punched him back?" McGee asked incredulously. "And with your left hand?"

"He grabbed the bottle that was aimed at my head." Gibbs announced as he strode into the bullpen.

"But why didn't you arrest him?" Ellie couldn't help asking.

"He ran away. I wasn't in any shape to run after him and the Boss was busy making sure I wouldn't face plant on the sidewalk." Tony replied without a hitch; he wasn't an undercover expert for nothing.

"Now if you're done with the twenty questions, get some work done." Gibbs ordered tersely before the junior agents could go any further.

McGee quickly muttered a ' _yes, Boss'_ and closed his mouth as Bishop nodded her head; both stealing glances at Tony after hearing what he'd done to save Gibbs.

"You see Ducky, DiNozzo?"

"Yes, Boss." Tony replied. "I'm all good. My hand needs a few days to heal; apparently I've got hairline fracture in a couple of bones in my hand." He held up his left hand which was now in a brace. "But concussion-wise I'm much better."

Gibbs nodded, but kept studying him for a few more seconds before going back to work. Tony's mask was firmly back in place, but Gibbs had been there the other night and could see that the effects of it had yet to leave the younger man completely. Well, nobody said it'd be easy. It'd take time, but hopefully, he'd manage to chase away that haunted look in Tony's eyes sooner rather than later or maybe with some help Tony'd be able to hide those feelings better. He knew that look was rooted in his childhood and he'd never be able to actually get rid of it, but he could help Tony pull himself together again. That was the least he could do and by doing that, hopefully, he himself would find some peace of mind, as well; he was still a bit rattled after finding out that Tony'd been roughed up as a kid and had never said a word about it and had even let his father back in his life after that. Of course, Gibbs knew there were still things in Tony's past that nobody knew about, and it sure wasn't like Tony to talk about his childhood and dark memories; but to never even show a sign and to still like Senior were things that probably nobody should be able to do after that sort of childhood!

.

.

It was exactly 18.54 when Tony's phone started to ring and the moment Tony's eyes landed on the screen and saw the name displayed on it, his whole body went rigid. He barely kept himself from clenching his fists, remembering that it'd really hurt his injured hand.

When the phone kept ringing and Tony just stared at it without answering it, Gibbs looked up to growl something, but whatever he was about to say died in his throat when he saw the look on Tony's face and then he knew who was calling his SFA.

Finally, Tony's hand moved to the phone and just as he declined the call, Abby appeared out of nowhere and loudly exclaimed, "Tonyyyyyyy... Why did you just reject your Dad's call? That's _mean_. It's not like you're in the middle of anything important. Why do you keep pushing him away when he's trying so hard to get closer to you?"

Tony was having a hard time keeping his emotion hidden; he was angry and hurt, both at his father and Abby, or his whole team in general for siding with his old man so quickly when they knew basically _nothing_ about him. Calmly he said, "I'm trying to concentrate on this report, Abs. I'll call him later tonight."

"Well, maybe he has something urgent to tell you. You never answer his calls; how do you know he's not in trouble and doesn't need your help? Huh? You'll just regret it later if you realize that he's needed your help and you've ignored-"

"Abby." Gibbs' voice stopped her rambling. "DiNozzo is an adult; he sure has good reasons for the decisions he makes." In a way, he'd just told her to mind her own business, but Abby, of course, never could get the hint when her mind was set on something.

"But, Gibbs! He can't make the right decisions when it comes to his father. You know that! We always have to fix things because he doesn't make the right call when it comes to his dad! He's so unfair to Senior; he's such a nice guy and Tony _always_ acts like he's this untrustworthy conman."

"And _he_ is still in the room." Tony said coldly with more than a small trace of annoyance to his voice.

"And he's Senior's _son;_ so maybe you should trust his judgment." Gibbs' voice was calm but cold and unwavering; after last night, he'd vowed he wouldn't let that bastard maintain the image of a mellow nice old man who was being treated unfairly by his son. He'd promised to keep the incident to himself, but he wouldn't let Abby insult Tony like that and definitely not so close to last night's incident. He hadn't noticed before how meddling Abby could be, but now that he was seeing it, it was really annoying him.

"Gibbs." Tony growled as he got up from his chair, his head shake was so imperceptible that nobody but Gibbs noticed it; but the heavy sigh that left Gibbs' mouth showed that _he_ had received the message.

"You see? He knows." Abby sounded so sure of herself. "Go call him, Mister; now! If you push him away one more time, we can't get him back for you again." She said with her hands on her hip.

"Nobody asked you to do that the other times." Tony finally let out. "And thanks for your concern, but from now on, mind your own business." He added icily and then started to walk away. "Going to call my Dad." He said over his shoulder, so nobody, meaning Gibbs, would follow him.

Abby's eyes were wide and she couldn't move from her spot even after Tony left the bullpen. She couldn't believe what Tony'd just said to her or his cold tone, for that matter.

"What's wrong with him?" She finally spat, sounding mad. "We try to help him and here he's-"

"That's enough, Abby." Gibbs stopped her mid-sentence. "He's right. You wouldn't like anyone butting in on your personal affairs, why do you think _you_ can do that to the others?"

"But, Gibbs-"

Once again, the Lead Agent cut her off quickly. "No buts, Abby. You were way out of line and it was none of your business. If he wants our help, he'll come to us, but till then, respect his privacy. That clear?"

Abby didn't respond until Gibbs intensified his glare.

"Fine." She said petulantly. "But next time he wants something, he'd better not come to _me_." She said that and stomped out of the bullpen just as Tony was coming back.

During the whole thing, both McGee and Bishop had kept quiet, observing the situation with open mouths and lax jaws.

Tony, who'd heard the last bit of Abby and Gibbs' conversation, looked even more chagrined, but he didn't say anything; he just sat at his desk and avoided Gibbs' eyes.

"Umm, you OK, Tony?" McGee asked tentatively.

"Fine." Tony replied. "And if you must know, my father just wanted to tell me that he's in town and would like to meet. Nothing urgent." He reported without looking up.

"Ah, I... No, I didn't... I mean, I wasn't going to ask." Tim stammered, knowing that with everything that'd happened during the last few minutes, he really shouldn't ask anything; especially since it seemed like something was really wrong and clearly Gibbs was aware of it, too. He wasn't sure, but something told him that Tony's sour mood; Gibbs' harsh tone and even the black eye Tony was sporting, all had something to do with Senior; but he couldn't guess what; because it there was one thing that he was sure of, it'd be that DiNozzo Senior would never hurt his son; the man was just not capable of it. He might accept that the old man was a conman, but to hurt his son was just impossible!

So he just kept quiet, shared a look with Bishop, who shrugged a little and they both turned their attention to their works, deciding to just keep an eye on their superiors and see how things would unfold.

**.**

**.**

**TBC**

**.**


	3. Chapter 3

"What did he really want?" Gibbs asked the moment they were finally alone in the bullpen; the other two agents had left for the night a few minutes earlier.

"Just what I said." Tony answered. "You know him; after he sobers up he doesn't remember a thing of what he's said or done while drunk."

The older agent looked like he could send enough energy to turn Senior into dust wherever he was; his forehead vein had popped up and the paper coffee cup in his hand was being clutched and seemed moments away from getting thrown against a wall.

Tony actually smiled at the look on his face. "It's alright, Boss. That's why I wanted you to leave; you didn't need to see that. It's always been like this; I know how to deal with it."

"You shouldn't."

"Well, I do."

"You're not gonna actually see him, are you?" Gibbs couldn't help asking.

The somber look was back in the younger man's eyes as he finally shook his head. "I don't think I can. I know I just said I'm used to it, but admittedly, it's been a while since it's been this bad; guess I've become rusty."

"If he can't clean his shit, it's _his_ problem."

"I know. And I'm getting kinda too old for that." Tony sighed. "Told him I'm busy with a case and can't meet him, but you know him; he'll probably show up here first thing tomorrow morning. _If_ he's not already at my place, again."

"Give me your phone."

"What? No, Boss. It's-"

"DiNozzo."

"Boss, please."

"You told him not to come back, last night. Did you mean it?"

Tony was quiet.

"Tony?" Gibbs asked with a softer tone, knowing that if Tony'd let his old man back in his life after years of neglect and... Well, apparently abuse, he might still not be ready to give up on him. And he wouldn't judge the younger man if he wasn't ready; it's not easy to stop wanting to have your father in your life.

"He's never gonna change." Tony said quietly. "He even said so the Christmas he was here. When I threw him out and you and Abby brought him back."

Gibbs flinched slightly and _not_ inwardly. He'd _just_ realized that he shouldn't have done what he had that day. He kept quiet, though, letting Tony come to terms with his feelings.

"He won't change, but I..." Tony sighed. "I guess I did mean it." He finally nodded. "If after so many years, he still calls me those things and thinks of me that way; then that must be his real feelings towards me." He smiled bitterly. "Seems like the conman's fooled me, too."

"You were hoping that he'd changed. Not your fault. He's your father."

Tony shuddered slightly.

"Good thing you're the exact opposite of him." Gibbs commented, wanting to reassure his protégé. "You sure you're related?"

That brought a faint smile to Tony's lips. "Sadly so."

"So?" Gibbs prodded gently.

"Boss, I know you wanna help, but this is my... Well... I know you've got my back, but you gotta realize that I'm an adult and can take care of my problems." Tony finally uttered; hoping that his boss wouldn't get offended, but wanting for him to know that he was capable of handling his problems.

"I never doubted you could handle it yourself." Gibbs said calmly. "Your father has come to me before because he knew you care about what I say and I've helped him;" he chose his words carefully in order to make Tony know this wasn't about trust in his ability or anything like that. "It's time he hears me when I give him a piece of my mind again."

The younger man considered Gibbs' words and thought that his father would probably go to Gibbs again, anyway! If anything was going to be said about him and his decisions, he preferred to be present this time; the two older men had had many talks about him behind his back in the past and Tony didn't want this to be another one of those conversations. Finally, Tony stood up and walked to his Boss' desk, handing him his phone. "Be gentle."

Gibbs' eyebrow rose at that, like it was completely a foreign concept to him.

Tony shrugged. "I just... I-"

"I won't get fooled again. Let me handle it." Gibbs stood up from his desk.

"Yeah, OK. Thanks." Tony nodded.

Looking down, Gibbs realized that he didn't know how to work with the other man's smart phone, and seemed like Tony had just realized the same thing, because he gently took it back, unlocked the screen and started to dial his father's number when Gibbs stopped him. "No. Give me his number; I'll use my own phone to call him."

Yes, that was a better option, Tony thought; so he quickly gave the number and waited for the other man to dial.

Nodding his head towards the elevator, Gibbs motioned for Tony to join him there; not wanting to have that conversation in public, in case he lost his temper and started yelling.

As they entered the elevator, Tony remembered that he wanted to hear both sides of the conversation, so he took the phone out of Gibbs' hand, much to the older man's annoyance and put it on speaker before holding it for Gibbs to talk.

"Hello?" His father's voice filled the elevator car. "Who's this?"

"Gibbs."

"Oh, hi, Gibbs. How's everything?" Senior asked amicably.

"Don't you wanna know why I'm calling?"

Senior laughed on the other side of the line. "Well, I figured Junior has told you that I'm in town and you wanted to meet me. Probably to complain about Junior again."

Tony's eyes shot up to Gibbs's; silent query visible in his eyes as he frowned.

Gibbs merely shook his head. "When have I ever complained about him? I told you he's the best agent I've ever worked with the first time you showed your face here. What's there to complain about?" He held Tony's gaze the whole time; making sure that the message was conveyed.

Tony's eyes softened and although he didn't smile, the gratitude was clear in his eyes.

"Well, then what do you want?"

"What do _you_ want from Tony?"

"What? I just wanna meet my son. Weren't you the one who pushed me to do that? I believe you said I had to spend more time with my child and get to know him."

"I said that when I thought you've changed." Gibbs growled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Cut the crap. After what you did last night, you better never get anywhere near Tony again or this time I'll talk him into throwing your sorry ass into a jail cell instead of just giving you another chance."

"Hey, what the hell are you talking about? And who do you think you are?"

"Oh, so when you've got a problem, you run to me to fix it, but _now_ I'm no one and have no right to tell you off? Stay the hell away from him. You show up at the Navy Yard or at his place and I'll find a way to arrest you. Hell, assaulting a Federal Agent can still stand."

"Assaul- What? Gibbs? I really don't get what you mean. You alright?"

"Shut the hell up." Gibbs almost shouted. "You drunken bastard. You showed up at his place last night, drunk out of your mind, assaulting your son and insulted him and every hero who's served this country and you think you can just waltz back into his life now that you've sobered up?"

DiNozzo Senior was silent on the other end of the line; he knew he'd been drunk last night, he'd woken up with a killing headache and a mean hangover, but he couldn't remember ever meeting his son, let alone doing what Gibbs was accusing him of.

"You will not show up here or at his place or even around his friends and coworkers; that clear?"

When he didn't get an answer, Gibbs Roared. "Is. That. Clear?"

"That'd be none of your business" was the answer before the line went dead.

"Wow. That went well." Tony said sarcastically as he leaned heavily against the elevator's wall; his chest heaved as he exhaled deeply. Just when Gibbs was about to speak, Tony's phone started to ring. Even without looking at the screen, both men know who it was.

"Dad?" Tony decided to answer as he, too, put the call on speaker.

"Your Boss just called me, Junior. Wanna tell me what it was about?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Tony retorted cryptically.

"He fights your fights for you now? What are you? Five?"

Gibbs' fist clenched.

Tony shook his head. "Even when I was _five_ , _I_ fought my own fights, _Dad_!" He snarled. "You'd know that if you weren't drunk all the time."

"You'd better watch your mouth."

"Or what? You'll punch me?" Tony snickered mirthlessly. "Newsflash, you took care of it last night."

"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't do anything last night. I didn't go anywhere near you!" His father wasn't shouting; in fact he sounded all confused and shocked.

"Well, that's where you're wrong, _Dad_. You actually did something pretty _spectacular_ last night. But since you tend to not remember a thing after you drink yourself into a stupor, let _me_ tell you what you did, huh? You lost an apparently huge deal, which of course upset you and so you decided that you needed to get drunk again; your typical way of dealing with shit, really." Tony commented nonchalantly. "But then you realized it wasn't enough to make you feel better, so you came up with the great idea of taking your anger and frustration on your old punching bag now that you were in the area and so you showed up at my place. Unannounced and unwelcome, of course. And the rest is history! I have a black eye and an injured hand to prove it."

His father was breathing heavily on the other end of the line and when he spoke, his voice was quiet and shaky. "Junior-"

"Don't call me that." Tony interrupted his father quickly. "In fact, don't call me _anything_. Don't call me at all. Go, Dad. Go and live your life; do whatever you want; be happy; but don't bother showing up here until you've got your act together. We're done."

"Son, wait-"

"I've waited 40 years, Dad. Probably longer, but I can't remember the first few years clearly." Tony chuckled bitterly. "It's time I realized nothing would come out of this waiting. Time to move on." The look of resignation on his face hurt Gibbs, but he was so proud of the way Tony was handling the situation that he didn't show anything.

"Don't try to show up again; I'll make sure they won't let you in the Navy Yard or _my_ building. You said once that you are who you are and you weren't going to change. Guess I've finally realized how much you haven't changed and how you'd _never_ change for anything. We're just too different, Dad; we won't get along, so just stay away."

"Look; I'm sorry, Son. I can make it up to-"

"No." Tony swallowed hard. "No, Dad. You can't. Don't think you even want to. You would've tried to bend at least a little if you really wanted and you sure as hell wouldn't have said those things after all these years. You made it pretty clear what you think of me deep down."

Senior was quiet; he didn't even try to make amends anymore; his silence speaking volumes. So Tony just shook his head and closed his eyes; trying to push the pain down.

"Goodbye, Dad." And then he ended the call.

The way he was holding himself was showing the immense amount of pain he was struggling with and it had nothing to do with the physical blows he'd received the other day; it was real nevertheless; like the mental pain and the heaviness he was feeling in his heart was physically affecting him, making him ache all over. The hand on his shoulder almost made him jump; he'd forgotten that he wasn't alone and quickly tried to school his features but the squeeze of his shoulder and the hand that moved up to the back of his neck made it clear that he didn't need his masks; at least not right then.

Taking his eyes from the floor, he finally locked his gaze with Gibbs' for a second before taking a deep breath and looking up at the ceiling.

"You OK?"

The corner of Tony's mouth curled up. He wasn't _any_ where near OK. He was miles away from it; so far away that he couldn't even see the _shadows_ of 'OK'.

Gibbs had gotten his answer when Tony couldn't even muster the energy to pretend. "It had to be done, Tony and you did great; I'm proud of you."

Somehow Tony couldn't agree and although he knew this had to be done or Senior would make this a routine, he couldn't feel proud or even satisfied; he didn't want to be the one to finish everything with his father. In the past, it'd always been his father who'd sent him away or turned him down, ignoring his very existence. But now, after he'd listened to the words coming out of his father's mouth and after his conversation with his father and how at the end the older man had remained silent, not even trying to deny the fact that he still thought of his son as a worthless, good for nothing piece of shit; he knew he couldn't let the older man control him anymore; he knew he had to put a stop to it or it'd destroy him; more than it already had; but he still felt terrible for ending things like that.

"Never wanted to be the one ending things with him. He's still my father."

Gibbs almost shook his head; only Tony would feel bad for taking action after being treated like that. Sometimes, the guy was too nice to the others for his own good. Nevertheless, he said the thing that he thought would help the younger agent. "This doesn't have to be the end of it. Could be a wake-up call for him; giving him a push to realize that he actually needs to change and try to do better before he can ask for your forgiveness again."

Tony looked at his Boss with a glint of hope that made his eyes look less dead.

The older man nodded his head. "Give it some time; I think he'll come around and this time he won't assume he can do whatever he wants and get away with it."

Tony knew his father too well to keep his hopes up; but he also knew he couldn't call the case closed then and there; he had to wait and see, otherwise it'd hurt worse.

"Let's get outta here." Gibbs turned the switch on and the elevator started; "You're not alone." He added quietly before the door opened to the bullpen and the men walked to collect their stuff before going home. Without saying, it was clear that they'd both end up in Gibbs' basement; the pain and hurt feelings wouldn't disappear that easily.

**.**

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**TBC**

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	4. Chapter 4

It'd been two months since that phone call and the final conversation he'd had with his father and Tony was doing much better and he would've even tried to put it behind him and pretend that night with his father or the phone calls following it had never happened.

He definitely would've done so if Abby would let him. The problem was that since that day in the bullpen, the Goth was pretty cold towards him; deliberately excluding him from everything she might be doing and even making one hundred percent sure that he knew he was being excluded.

There weren't that many occasions, since they were busy with their back to back cases, but on the rare occasions that it'd happened, she'd made sure Tony knew he was being left out. She wouldn't pay attention to him and outright ignored him whenever she could; every now and then she'd even add a comment on how people should treat their family members and what loyalty meant and how _certain_ people didn't know anything about it.

Despite his efforts, Tony was hurt by her behavior; it stung to see how his supposed best friend was treating him and _all_ because she didn't agree on how he viewed _his_ father; acting like she knew the older man better than his own son.

So, after a while, Tony stopped going to the lab even for the reports and Gibbs who was watching the situation closely never forced him to do so. He'd tried to talk to Abby, making her see that she wasn't allowed to judge Tony and make decisions for him or want to force him do things _her_ way by pouting and sulking or being completely rude and ignorant, but she could be really stubborn and pig-headed if she wanted to and apparently not even Gibbs could change her mind when she set her mind on something. He'd briefly pondered about hinting at what Senior had done to his son, but he'd quickly dismissed the idea because he knew Tony didn't want the others to know about it, no matter how close he'd become with them during the years; and he himself couldn't blame him since he still wasn't able to share his life with the others. As a result Gibbs got more short-tempered with Abby, something that'd never happened before, which led to her being even more upset with Tony, blaming him for the whole situation, saying that if he stopped being such a selfish baby, none of those things would've happened. And funny, who was calling whom a baby!

For his part, Tony never even contemplated telling Abby the truth, because if she couldn't accept the reasons he was giving and trust him after so many years of friendship, then he wasn't about to share more secrets with her; especially not secrets as painful of those recent ones.

One particular night, 64 days after the night Tony had last seen his father, a phone call came in as everyone was at their desks, working on their reports or going through the related paperwork.

"Special Agent DiNozzo." Tony answered his phone without checking the number.

At first, nobody paid attention to Tony and his phone call, but when after a couple of minutes Tony hadn't said a word, they looked up one by one, noticing how pale he'd gotten.

"Umm. Yes. I... Yes, still here." Tony took a breath and rubbed his temple with his index and middle fingers. "Thanks for calling me. I live in DC, but I'll be there in a few hours." A pause and then Tony said. "Thanks." And ended the call.

"Everything alright?" Ellie was the first to ask the question.

But it seemed like Tony didn't even hear her.

"Hey. DiNozzo!"

Tony was startled and finally looked up when Gibbs called him and then McGee repeated Ellie's question.

Tony stared at them for a few seconds and then got up from his chair. "Ah... Yes, yes. I just need a second."

"What's wrong?" Tim called as Tony started to walk away and not surprisingly, he didn't get an answer.

Exchanging a look with Bishop, he was about to get up and follow his teammate when Gibbs' voice stopped them both.

"You two finish your reports." And with that he left the bullpen and went towards the bathrooms to see what the phone call had been about; by the look on Tony's face he knew something bad had happened; he just couldn't guess what would rattle his usually collected friend like that.

He found the younger man standing in front of the mirror, his hands on the counter and his head bent down to his chest. "Hey, you alright?"

"He's dead."

"What?" Gibbs was shocked and confused.

"My father." Tony added quietly.

' _Damn_.' Gibbs cursed under his breath and found himself completely at a loss. Turned out he didn't need to come up with anything to do as Tony took a deep breath and looked up. His eyes were anguished and even looking at him was painful, the man looked suddenly spent and drained.

"I need a few days. Gotta go to New York. We... Uh... We don't exactly have anyone else to do things like this with us. Gotta arrange the funeral and everything."

Gibbs had lost his father recently and knew what Tony was going through, but he guessed it was worse for Tony since the younger man hadn't been on speaking terms with his father after what the older man had done to him and knowing Tony, he knew the younger man would blame himself.

"Take as long as you need. In fact, I'll come with you."

"No. It's OK." Tony tried to smile and reassure his boss, but it was a daunting task at that moment.

"DiNozzo-"

"Boss, really. It's OK. It's gonna take me some time to take care of everything. I'm not exactly aware of his affairs and it has nothing to do with the fact that I cut him out of my life two months ago."

"Hey-"

"I... I'm gonna be alright. But I gotta go now." He interrupted his boss once again.

"You can't drive like this."

"I'm alright, Gibbs. It was just unexpected."

 _'No shit!'_ Gibbs thought. "You call if you need anything, you hear me?"

Tony nodded his head.

"And take as long as you need."

"Won't be more than a few days."

"Let me know when you've arranged the funeral. We'll be there."

"You don't-"

"We'll be there for you." Gibbs said with a determined tone.

"My report is almost finished; just needed to add a few things-"

"Don't worry about it, then. I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Gibbs."

Gibbs approached the younger man and put a hand to his neck. "You didn't do anything wrong. You hear me? Go get your stuff and go."

Tony's eyes were dry, but the pain was written clearly all over his face as he nodded and walked out. He didn't say anything to his teammates; he just grabbed his gear and left.

"Boss?" McGee asked when Tony was in the elevator and out of earshot.

Gibbs watched as the door closed and decided that despite Tony's protest, he'd head to New York as soon as he'd closed the case properly. "His father passed away."

"What?"

"Oh, no."

Both McGee and Bishop exclaimed, feeling terrible for their friend.

"We should be there for him." Ellie suggested.

"We will. As soon as he arranges everything, he'll call me and I'll let you know. Till then, you do your job and give him some space and time." Gibbs made it clear that they weren't to contact the Senior Field Agent any sooner.

"Boss? When did it happen? And why?" McGee couldn't help ask; his own father was sick and they kinda expected to hear a bad news any day, but no one expected to hear that kind of news about DiNozzo Sr. and he could guess it must've been really hard for Tony.

"No idea." Gibbs answered curtly before sitting at his desk. "Finish your reports and go home."

"Will you go to New York sooner?" Ellie asked and it was clear she was worried for Tony and that was the only reason she didn't think he should be alone at that moment.

Gibbs studied the young Probie and read the concern in her eyes, so he decided to answer her question. "I will as soon as we're done here."

That gave both junior agents a purpose; they nodded their heads and turned their attention to their reports; determined to finish everything sooner so at least someone could be there for Tony; it was no secret that Tony had absolutely no one else and unlike Gibbs, he didn't have a childhood home that would be full of memories, needing his attention after his father's demise. If he at least had that, Tony would less likely be drown into the pain and loss; but since there weren't anything left from his childhood and since they all knew how Tony tended to ignore everything he felt and bottle up his emotions, they knew he'd need someone to make him stop internalizing everything. Gibbs was what he needed and when he was ready, they'd all be there for him, making sure he was actually _dealing_ with his loss, instead of smiling on the outside and for their sake while quietly breaking into pieces on the inside.

.

.

True to his nature, Tony took care of everything quickly and stoically. Even Gibbs was surprised at the way the younger man had arranged everything. He'd arrived to New York merely one day after Tony had, and the younger man had already took care of most things.

Gibbs found out that the older DiNozzo had died of a heart attack, and that it'd happened while he'd gone to a bar, trying to once again drink to oblivion; maybe he'd been lucky, because if he'd been at his place, it'd probably take days for someone to notice his absence; on the other hand, maybe if he hadn't been that drunk, he'd notice that something was wrong and could prevent the tragic outcome. Anyway, that was a question that they couldn't answer, but the doctor at the hospital had confirmed that his drinking habit hadn't helped his situation and even if he hadn't died from that heart attack, his liver wouldn't have lasted much longer.

The whole time, Tony had been completely professional, not showing a thing on the outside, not even the pain and guilt that Gibbs had seen in his eyes the first night that he'd heard about his father's death. The younger agent took care of the funeral and paid for everything and went through his father's apartment, noting that there was nothing personal in there; which didn't surprise him at all. He knew his father had gotten rid of everything that reminded him of the past, and if something was of too much sentimental value, he'd either sent them to Tony earlier, or had them stored in a safe box in his bank under Tony's name. Tony had, of course, collected those few things and without looking at them, had put them in the trunk of his car, deciding that he'd go through them when he was back home, inside the walls of his ' _sanctuary'_ ; until then he had to stay strong and reliving the past wouldn't allow him to concentrate on the present.

Taking care of everything hadn't taken more than three days; all he needed to do after the funeral was to clear the apartment his father had owned and break the lease. He'd contacted his father's lawyer and they'd talked and cleared everything. Apparently, Senior had managed to make some good deals during the last two years and had purchased a few properties but he'd once again cut his son out of his will two months ago. The lawyer informed Tony that, as the only son of Mr. DiNozzo and his only heir, he could contest the will and win, too, but Tony refused and said if his father hadn't mentioned in his will what he wanted to be done to his properties and possessions, then the lawyer was to send them to various charities, making it clear that he didn't want anything from his father's stuff.

Finally, four days after receiving the bad news, came the day of funeral and if Tony's friends and co-workers hadn't shown up, there wouldn't have been many people there. Some distant relatives that Tony hadn't even heard from since he'd been a small kid showed up to pay their respects, while some of his relatives from his mother's side only called to express their, _very fake_ , sympathy and offer condolences.

From NCIS many people were there, though. Tim with his sister; Ellie and her husband, Jake; Ducky; Jimmy and Breena; Abby and even Vance showed up. Some other agents from other teams also showed up to support their friend and Tony was grateful for their presence.

Gibbs was by his side all the time, not saying a word and not asking a question, just supporting him silently, letting him know that he was there for him whenever he decided he could talk about it.

After the funeral, when Tony thanked each and every person for their support, he approached Abby, who'd been standing back and had shed a few silent tears.

"Abbs." He called quietly, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Thanks for coming."

What he didn't expect was for his friend to shrink away from his touch and the cold words that was being poured out of her mouth. "Didn't come for you." She looked him straight in the eyes. "Came to pay my respect to Mr. DiNozzo and be the only one here for _him_. You happy now that you've pushed him away and can never have him again? I knew something like this could happen, but did you listen? No! And now you can never fix it."

Tony was taken aback. "What?"

"Well, you didn't want him in your life; now he's permanently out of your life. So, maybe people should _congratulate_ you." She said vehemently and pretty much uncharacteristically; and for a second there Tony felt like he was the stranger here and _Abby_ had lost her father.

_'What the hell?'_

"I can't believe it; he was your father, Tony." She said brokenly and it seemed like she'd been replaced by a total stranger that Tony had never met before.

As Abby walked away angrily; Tony felt he crumbled a little more on the inside.

"What did she say?" Gibbs' voice jolted him. He'd seen the encounter from afar and saw the way she'd snapped at Tony and how Tony'd looked totally lost and defeated, but he hadn't heard the words that had been exchanged between them.

Without looking at Gibbs, Tony turned his gaze towards his father's grave, which was next to that of his mother's, and let out a heavy sigh. "Asked if she should congratulate me."

"What?"

"Seems like she thinks I'm happy I've lost my father. My only living family." Tony said coldly. "I don't get it; did she have feelings for Senior?" He finally looked up, "because, seriously, the way she defends him and hates me for everything that's happened, one would think she knew my father better than I did and something had been going on between them."

Gibbs shuddered at the thought of Abby, the woman he saw as a daughter, with someone like Senior, but he was so mad at what she'd said that he couldn't even respond properly. "What the hell is wrong with her?" The angry growl wasn't a question; it was merely a way of letting out his frustration.

"Oh, I'd love to know the answer to that." Tony's voice had become even colder than before; the iciness in his voice speaking volumes of how he was feeling on the inside. "But I guess I know where I stand with her now." He swallowed. "I'm going back to my father's place; gotta take care of the last things before I can come back to work. You should go back with everyone else. I've already taken so much of your time."

"Cases can be handled by other teams. I'm needed here." Gibbs said sternly. "I've got McGee to drive my car back to DC. You're stuck with me."

Tony looked at his boss and smiled a little smile, before nodding his thanks. At that moment and with everything going on, he did need someone by his side, even if he'd never admit it, even to himself.

**.**

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**TBC**

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	5. Chapter 5

A few days after the funeral and exactly 8 days after Tony received that phone call about his father's death, both senior agents were back at their desks and the team was back in rotation.

Tony had arranged that Senior's attorney worked with his own lawyer and if anything needed his personal attention, his lawyer would contact him. Other than that, he'd done all he could and now doing his job was the only thing that could keep him from falling into the huge abyss that had formed inside him.

Everyone could see that Senior's death had hit Tony hard, but they didn't know how to help him as Tony mostly kept busy and rarely looked up from the cases around him.

"DiNozzo, that's enough for today. Let's go." Gibbs announced around 23.30 when he saw that Tony had no intention of leaving any time soon; heck, it seemed like Tony hadn't even noticed how late it had become, and as Tony looked up and checked his watch with confusion, Gibbs' suspicion was confirmed.

To Tony's surprise, he wasn't alone in the bullpen with Gibbs; both McGee and Bishop had stayed and even though they were pretending like they were busy with their own works, Tony could see that they were actually watching him discreetly and had stayed behind, _when they could've left hours ago_ , merely because they were worried about him. That was why he decided to listen to Gibbs and leave for the night, knowing that it wasn't fair to his friends when they were doing everything they could to help him. After all, he could always come back later during the night, when nobody was there to watch him worriedly.

Nodding his head, he started to pack his stuff and smiled slightly when both McGee and Bishop looked relieved that he hadn't protested. Both junior agents grabbed their stuff, wished them goodnight and left.

Tony himself was about to say goodnight to his boss and leave when he found the older man standing in front of his desk waiting for him.

"Umm, you need something?"

"For you to hurry so we can get home and eat something." Gibbs replied.

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Gibbs, I'm fine. Really. I wouldn't have come back to work if I didn't feel alright."

"We need to talk."

Shouldering his backpack, he walked around his desk and followed his boss to the elevator. "We've spent every minute of the previous week together and now we need to talk?"

"The timing wasn't right." Gibbs replied easily.

"Right." Tony sighed and stayed quiet the whole way to Gibbs' place and then during their small dinner.

.

"You need to stop blaming yourself." Gibbs jumped straight to the point once he was sure the younger man had eaten properly.

"Can't exactly help it." Tony didn't even try to evade.

"DiNozzo, he insulted you; he _hit_ you. You did what you had to do."

Tony dropped his head to his hands and massaged his temples. "I could've given him another chance. I _should_ 've given him another chance. He might've been alive now if I had; even if things had gone the same way and he had still died, my last words to him wouldn't have been words of anger."

"You can't let people walk all over you all the time in fear of losing them one day. If they can't treat you the way you deserve, they don't deserve to be in your life." Gibbs stated firmly and deep down he knew he wasn't talking merely about Senior, anymore; he knew of many people in Tony's life who'd done the same; he wasn't proud of it but he himself had done so on occasions and Tony had always forgiven them all; either because he didn't want to lose them or because he was just too selfless, always putting everyone else ahead of himself.

Taking a shuddering breath, Tony growled, "Well, that's moot now, isn't it? He's dead and my last words to him were that I didn't want him in my life unless he changed himself. Abby's right; I was a brat and now I've lost my ch-"

"Hey!" Gibbs barked and interrupted Tony's sentence, barely stopping himself from reaching out and slapping the younger man over the head; Senior's words rushed through his head and he inwardly wondered if Tony saw the headslaps the same way his father did and accepted them because he thought he deserved them? At that moment he thought he could get sick if it was the way Tony viewed those slap; because they sure weren't delivered for the same reason and unlike Senior, Gibbs had a really high opinion of his SFA and didn't think the younger agent deserved a rough hand. In his mind, his headslaps were his way of showing affection, but he knew he couldn't and wouldn't headslap Tony ever again; mostly because Tony was now way too seasoned to be treated that way and also because after what Senior had said it just felt wrong.

He didn't even blame Tony for saying those things about himself; he was mostly mad at Abby for saying words that she must've known would affect Tony like that. "Abby is not right and you know it. Dammit, DiNozzo, you did nothing wrong."

"I was the only thing he had; I took it away from him."

"No." Gibbs said sternly. " _He_ took it away from himself _and_ from you. He didn't want to change; didn't even try to do better and went so far as getting shit drunk and hitting you and insulting you and everything you've done for this country."

Tony swallowed hard and looked away.

"You gave him ample chances, Tony. He didn't take them seriously. He took _you_ for granted."

" _He_ 's dead."

Gibbs winced inwardly as it just occurred to him that with the job they had, the chance of making things right with Senior could've been lost because Tony himself had died in the line of duty and secretly he felt really happy it wasn't the case. "And I'm sorry for your loss, but _it. Is. Not. Your_ fault. You didn't give him that bottle; if anything, you tried to take it away from him."

Tony's shoulders dropped in defeat. "I really thought he would. Thought if he felt I wouldn't budge anymore, he'd stop drinking and would straighten out. Should've known better. He couldn't suddenly stop after a lifetime of drinking and acting that way."

"You did what was best for you _and_ him."

"Turned out so well for him." Tony scoffed. "He... He must've hated me."

"You know he didn't. He couldn't sort out his priorities and he was stupid enough not to cherish the gift he was given or see what was right in front of him, but he loved you." Gibbs felt the need to reassure his younger friend, even though he wasn't sure of what he was saying.

"He cut me out of his will again. That's his way of saying I mean nothing to him. Money was the only language he knew. Even if he'd named me in his will, I would've given the money to a charity or something, but at least I would've known that he hadn't cut me out of his life."

"And what does that tell you?"

Tony frowned.

"He wasn't willing to change. He claimed he loved you and the moment something went wrong he'd lash out at you, blaming you for everything and hurting you, verbally and physically; like he did when you were a kid."

Tony cringed. "He was my father; he was who he was."

"I'm just saying you should stop blaming yourself. You did everything to rebuild your relationship with him but he clearly wasn't ready."

"And now he'd never be."

"And that's the real problem, isn't it?"

"What?"

"You're sad that now you can never have the relationship you wished to have with your father."

"Well, yeah." Tony bit his lip. "Waited 40 years only to lose it because of my own s-"

Gibbs cut him off. "You better not finish that."

"It's true."

"It's not and you know it." The older man didn't care how many times he'd already said those words that night; he didn't care if he had to repeat them over and over again; he'd keep doing that until the younger man stopped questioning himself. He knew that his father's acts and Abby's words had destroyed Tony's already damaged self-esteem and if this was the way to make Tony stop blaming himself, he'd do it gladly. "You're only saying it because now you can't have that hope anymore; even though, deep down, you know that even if he'd lived another 40 years, he wouldn't have changed to become the father you wish to have; the father you deserve."

"We can't know that." Tony said quietly.

"Can't we?"

Tony didn't answer that question; he felt Gibbs was right, but now he couldn't know; his hopes had died with his father and he felt like a huge part of him had died as well.

"I miss him." He whispered after a couple of minutes.

The hand that landed on his shoulder and squeezed it was worth thousands of words.

...

That talk helped Tony in some ways as he'd been able to get some stuff off his chest, but there were still so many things on his mind and weighing on his shoulders that neither he, nor Gibbs expected for him to feel all better after that night.

For one thing, right along with grieving over the loss of his father, _as flawed as he was_ , Tony felt like he was mourning the loss of his friendship and closeness with Abby, too. She'd been a friend for so many years and now Tony couldn't even look at her without hearing those spiteful words and feeling the burning glare that she'd aimed at him after his father's burial.

If they'd become distant before Senior's death, they were outright aloof and strangers these days as the Senior Field Agent wouldn't even look at her or stay anywhere when she was present.

If the team came across her outside the bullpen, Tony would just walk past her and continue his way to wherever he was going and if she came to the bullpen, he'd just get up and leave, disappearing for some minutes until she was gone; and Gibbs always made sure that she was gone quickly because for once, he'd been able to see how wrong she'd been and how much she'd hurt the man she called her best friend and this time, Gibbs was determined to let Tony decide and do what he thought was best for him.

The Lead Agent would never want hostility between his men and women; he'd always push them to solve their problems and move on; but in this case, he didn't see how things could be sorted out and he was sure if he'd been in DiNozzo's shoes, Abby wouldn't just get the cold shoulder from him. Besides, it wasn't like Abby was a field agent; it really didn't matter if his agent didn't want to have anything to do with the Lab Tech. So there was no harm in helping him to keep his distance.

After Tony and Gibbs came back from the funeral, Abby seemed to have mellowed a bit and Gibbs could see that she was trying to catch Tony's attention; he'd even noticed a wince here and there when Tony ignored or avoided her.

One day, she stopped Gibbs in her lab to ask him to make Tony go talk to her; to which Gibbs had said, _'DiNozzo is his own man. And it's time you realized that and maybe you can stop to think why he ignores you.'_

She'd protested and exclaimed that they weren't being fair to her; but then Gibbs snapped and told her to act her age.

Her eyes had filled with tears, but, for a change, Gibbs didn't look remorseful and he didn't try to hug her; she finally started to think that she'd really wronged Tony.

She'd regretted her word at the funeral right after she'd realized what she'd said, but it wasn't until the confrontation with Gibbs that she realized it wasn't that incident in the cemetery that had pushed Tony completely away; it'd just been the last straw.

Before leaving her to her thoughts, Gibbs had asked her one last question. "Did you have feelings for Senior, Abby?" Even the thought of that possibility still made him feel sick to the stomach; but he needed to know, because to be honest, Abby was capable of doing stupid things like that.

"What?" Her eyes widened comically.

"Was there anything going on between the two of you?" He asked with only a tiny trace of anger in his voice.

"O my God, No!" She almost shrieked; looking all confused and shocked at the implication.

The look of horror in her eyes convinced Gibbs that at least that possibility was eliminated and he admittedly felt better; it still didn't give him any clue why she'd acted the way she had, though. "Then why?"

"Why what?" She was still shocked.

"Everything you said and did." Gibbs clarified and shook his head. "Just think about it, Abs." And then he'd left.

Abby had stood there for long minutes; the look of horror on her face was now mixed with much more remorse as she realized what Gibbs meant and what he and probably Tony had thought when she'd said those words.

She needed to fix things. She needed to apologize no matter what and she had to find Tony for that and make him listen to her.

...

"Tony?"

The voice that stopped him on his way to the bathroom was one of the last voices he needed to hear these days, and that was both sad and funny, because there was a day, not long ago, that that voice would've made him happy anywhere and no matter what. Now, he just wanted to pretend being deaf and escape.

"Tony, please."

Pausing on his way, Tony sighed. He couldn't ignore her forever; not when they worked in the same building. Maybe he should just get it over it. "Abby?"

"Hi."

Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Right, um... I... Tony I wanted to apologize." She looked down. "I'm really really sorry."

Tony remained silent, wondering if she thought things were that simple.

Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself before starting her reasoning. "I've been meaning to apologize since the day I said all those awful things at your father's funeral, but I didn't know how. And you always _always_ avoid me these days and I understand. I do now. I swear; but today I couldn't take it anymore and I was feeling so bad and... Today... Today when you guys came back from the crime scene and while everybody stopped to say a word to me, you just walked away and I realized that I've been a coward; and that by not telling you how sorry I am I've been ruining our friendship even more. So I'm sorry; can you forgive me, please? I was so mean and terrible and so not a friend when you needed all the support you could get... And the things I said; Tony, I haven't been able to sleep all these days; my own words are haunting me and I really feel terrible for saying those things and for hurting you. Can you forgive me, please? Please Tony." She didn't mention her talk with Gibbs, hoping that Tony didn't think the things Gibbs had hinted at.

Tony looked up, he didn't want to push another person away and end up with another regret like with his father; but the things Abby had said and done, and not just at the funeral, were still hurting him. He wasn't sure he could ever look at her the same way.

"Did you have feelings for him?" He finally asked the question that had been bothering him all along and honestly, that kinda seemed like a reasonable question.

"God, not you too!" She exclaimed.

Tony narrowed his eyes as he heard those words. Had Gibbs talked to her?

Abby seemed oblivious to Tony's reaction as she said, "how could you say something like that? Of course not. Why... Why would you think that? That's... Tony, that's all kind of wrong. How could-"

"Can you blame me?" Tony interrupted her. "The way you attack me in his defense doesn't give me many other choices. You act like you know him better than I do and since I know that's not true, the only other explanation would be if you had feelings for him and you couldn't stand to see anyone putting him in his place; not even if that person was your supposed old friend and the man's son."

"Supposed..." Abby looked worried. "I've ruined us, haven't I?"

"Just give me one reason, Abby. Why did you act like that? Why did you say those things? At the funeral and the months before that."

"I... I don't know." She finally replied quietly.

"Well, that makes everything alright then."

"No, wait." Abby jumped before Tony could turn around and leave. "I did it for you."

"For me?" Tony blurted out loudly. "You banished me from your circle of friends; treated me like crap; said every awful thing one could think of to me and you did that for _me_? Wow. I feel so loved. I don't wanna know what you would've done if you hadn't done it for my own good."

"No, no. Tony." She sounded desperate; "please. It's hard to explain. Look, you're right, OK? I was awful, terrible, really; and I know it doesn't make sense, but I thought if I did that, you'd stop acting up and would make up with your father and would be finally happy again; I swear I just did it for-"

"Don't." Tony's voice was cold. "Just stop. I've heard all I needed to."

"What?"

"You still think I was being a brat, acting up and wanting attention! You still think my father was the one being treated unfairly here."

"He-"

"Stop it, Abby." The pain in Tony's eyes was so evident it took Abby by surprise. "His death was sudden; and despite what you think I never wanted it and it hurt me like hell. He was my father, the only living family I had left. I did what I did because I was hoping he'd change and would become... You know what? Never mind." He turned around to leave. "I don't have to explain myself to you. Especially not to _you_." He couldn't help the sneer.

"Ton-"

"I don't wanna hear anything else." He started to walk away but Abby grabbed his arm.

"Let go of my arm." He said coldly.

"I'm sorry. Please, Tony."

"I know you are. At least for the things you said."

"Yes I am." Abby nodded vigorously; "I wasn't just out of line; I was cruel and so wrong. And I want you to know that I didn't mean it and I know you're hurting and I want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm your friend, even if I haven't acted like one these past two months."

"No you haven't..." Tony sighed.

"Tony-"

"Look," Once again Tony stopped her before she could say anything else. "I know you're sorry for the things you said, but I also know that you still think I was wrong doing what I did and to be honest, it hurts more than your words and your lack of support. I thought we were friends and that you trusted me and my judgment. I thought I could count on you no matter what-"

"You can." She protested.

"No, I can't. I clearly can't." Tony shook his head. "You proved to me that it's not an option. You didn't trust me; you don't even have all the facts and you are still taking his side; you think I've always lied about the things he'd done-"

"I don't think you lied." She whined weakly.

"Fine; you believe I've always _exaggerated_ and don't deny it; I know you do. Everyone does; but the truth is you don't know half of the things that have happened between me and my father; you just got fooled by his charm and years of friendship with me suddenly meant nothing as you turned on me and made sure I knew how you felt. That's what hurt me, Abby and the fact that you still think the same way hurts more." He sighed. "He's gone now. So it doesn't matter anymore. I've lost my father; and I know no matter what I say, you'd always think I was unfair to him. So, I guess we can't change that."

"I don't wanna lose you." She said quietly.

"I'll be always there if you actually need me."

"But you won't come to me. You won't share anything with me, anymore." She knew it was true and she just stated it.

"That's kinda absurd when you never believe me anyway." With that, Tony turned around and walked into the men's room, leaving Abby out, with tears of remorse and doubt in her eyes.

**.**

**.**

**TBC**

**.**


	6. Chapter 6

That night, Tony left the office quietly, not talking to anyone and Gibbs let him, feeling like the younger man needed some alone time to think and probably grieve. Not that Tony knew how to do that properly; but Gibbs wasn't one to judge as he himself had never known how to grieve properly either. Still, he thought it better to let Tony be alone for the night and decided he'd keep a closer eye on him the next day.

So, when he went home alone, he expected to have his house to himself for the night; he hadn't expected any visitors.

"Gibbs."

Looking up from the jar in his hand, he slightly frowned when he saw Abby walking down the stairs.

"Hi."

"What's up, Abbs?"

"I... um... I need your help."

Frowning, Gibbs put down his jar. "What's wrong?"

"I need help with Tony."

Gibbs suddenly realized what this was about. _'Not again with this.'_ He thought gruffly.

And Abby could see the realization in his eyes. "I apologized. I swear." She said quickly, before Gibbs could get upset with her again. "I told him I felt terrible for the way I've treated him and the things I said; I told him I didn't mean any of them."

"Didn't you?"

"What?" She took a step back. "Of course not. Why would you say that?"

"Then why did you say those things, Abby? Why did you act that way?"

"He asked that too." She sighed and sat down on the bench. "Gibbs, I told him that I did it for him-"

"Bullshit, Abby." Gibbs snapped, but his voice was still low.

Abby cringed nevertheless.

"It's bullshit and you know it. You were fooled by Senior's charm and acts and you didn't like being wrong so you decided it must've been Tony's fault that they weren't in touch and you decided to push Tony to do what you liked. Life is not a fairy tale, Abby; you gotta learn that sometime."

"I apologized; he said he knew I was sorry, but I don't think he forgave me. He said..." She bit her lip. "He said he didn't think sharing stuff with me was right since I wouldn't believe him and wouldn't trust him."

 _'Huh! Good for you, DiNozzo.'_ Gibbs thought proudly; glad that his protégé had spoken his mind bluntly for once. He decided to follow his agent's lead; so, candidly, he said, "Well, what did you expect? You didn't have his back; you didn't trust him. And I can't tell you why you were wrong or how wrong you were, but I can tell you this much that you _were_ wrong and Tony was right sending his father his way. The man-"

Abby frowned and looked up. "You know something." She studied the man before her. "Something happened, right? Something happened and you know it and that's why you told me to step out of it and not to meddle."

"And yet you did just that." Gibbs shook his head.

"Well, you could've told me." She threw her hands in the air. "What happened? Tell me, Gibbs; things were going so well; what happened that you suddenly changed your mind and Tony suddenly didn't want anything to do with his father and-"

"Hey." Gibbs sharply interrupted her ranting. "Told you to mind your own business."

"But Gibbs-"

"Abby, you couldn't trust your friend to let him do things his own way. You had to meddle and look where it's gotten you. And you still are trying to push things and wanna know _every_ damn thing." This was one of those times that Gibbs really wanted to shake her and knock some sense into her.

"But I'm his friend."

"Abby. You lost that privilege when you took Senior's side without knowing anything. And things weren't going well; we just chose to think they were. We saw what we wanted to see, not what was really happening."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Did any of us ever ask Tony about why he chose to send his father away that Christmas? We just assumed and acted on our own and brought Senior back. Without asking Tony's opinion."

"Well, that was the right thing to do. Tony was so happy."

_Man, she still had her head buried deeply in the sand._

"No, Abby. That was the _wrong_ thing to do and Tony wasn't happy; he just pretended for our sake and for his father's sake; like he always does. He had good reasons to send his old man away."

Abby didn't look convinced.

Gibbs shook his head. "You need to go Abby. I don't have what you're looking for."

She was ready to protest, but Gibbs stopped her with a raised finger.

"You're just looking for an easy way to get things back to normal. But you gotta know that actions have consequences. You have to learn to think before saying things and acting. And more importantly you have to learn you can't always have it your way. You're not even ready to accept that Tony has been right and you made a mistake; how could you expect him to act like nothing happened?"

Abby's silence showed that she was contemplating Gibbs' words, but it was also clear that she didn't like what she was hearing.

"Did something happen?" She finally asked sotto voce.

Gibbs' patience was wearing thin. "Not my place to say anything and not your place to ask. You gotta learn to trust your friends unconditionally, not just when it suits you. If you want his friendship, you should know him after all these years; you should know how he always _under_ states things that actually hurt him. Does he ever exaggerate about important stuff Abby? We both know he doesn't; heck he doesn't even really talk about serious problems; he's more closed than I am; so _why_ did you think he's exaggerated about his childhood when he barely even talks about it? Why couldn't you trust him and accept that he must've had a perfect reason for being mad at his father? You should've just accepted it and jumped to defend _him_ even if you had doubts about his words, because _he_ is your friend, not his father. You didn't give him the benefit of the doubt and worse, you tried to make him do things the way you liked; never thinking what it was doing to him."

"I'm sorry." She murmured.

"I know, but like I said, actions have consequences. You made your bed; you gotta lie in it now."

"So what? I gotta give up on my friendship with Tony?"

"No, you gotta accept that you've changed things with your choices. You gotta understand that Tony might never share anything with you again."

"Can't you please talk to him? Tell him that I'm sorry? That he should move on and forgive me?"

"I'd never do that." Gibbs said firmly; sounding irritated by that suggestion. "I'm using my annual quota of words to tell you we shouldn't meddle in his affairs and that we should show him we trust him with his decisions and you want me to once again interfere and force him to do things against his will?" He sometimes had a really hard time getting Abby. "Besides, I think he's doing the right thing. Just like I did when he told his father off."

Abby's eyes went wide with disbelief and sadness. "You think he's doing the right thing by pushing me away?"

" _You_ pushed him away, Abby and at a time when he needed all the friends and support he could get; you even said he shouldn't come to you if he ever needed anything. You can't have your cake and eat it too." He pointed out. " _He_ is just keeping his distance now and can't say I blame him."

Shakily, she tried making excuses again, "Gibbs, I didn't mean-"

"Go, Abby." Once again, he interrupted her. "Go and think about your words and behavior and everything we've talked about. Maybe one day you can see the error of your ways. That day, go and talk to Tony. But not a day before that; because he can see right through you if you lie and that'd only make him become more aloof."

Turning his back was a hard thing for Gibbs, but if Abby wasn't ready to admit, even to herself, that she'd been wrong and that she'd made a huge mistake, then he didn't have anything more to say. The woman needed to grow up and face the consequences of her actions.

...

It was two nights later when Gibbs was alone with Tony again; this time he was the one inviting himself to the younger man's place for dinner.

"Abby came to me the other night."

 _'Here we go.'_ Tony thought as he winced internally. He was sure Gibbs was going to order him to fix things with her, so he was surprised with the next thing that came out of the older man's mouth.

"Told her off."

The bottle of beer stopped midway to his mouth as Tony heard that.

"Learning a few lessons won't hurt her." Gibbs continued nonchalantly.

Eyeing his boss suspiciously, Tony tried to understand where this conversation was heading.

"Thought you should know." Gibbs clarified. "You were right, DiNozzo. Both with your father and now with her."

"Don't wanna regret another thing later." Tony confessed quietly.

"You did nothing wrong to regret."

"Doesn't feel that way." He sighed. "Everyone's always tried to push me and my father together and I'm grateful that they wanted to help me, but it also makes me think maybe I was wrong; maybe I should've brought down my expectations and then I would've found what I wanted with him and he wouldn't be dead now."

"You talk like you've pushed him off a cliff. He died of a natural cause, helped by his own drinking problem. If anything, it was another mistake on his part." Gibbs scolded. "And just how lower did you want to bring your expectations? You wanted to let him get away with abuse? You've already done that once."

Tony visibly winced at those words; he didn't like to think of his childhood that way; he didn't think of his father as an abusive parent; the man had just been a little rough. That's different.

Gibbs noticed the wince and didn't push; instead, he said, "I never cared for him; just wanted to make him open his damn eyes and realize what he had; to give you what you deserve, the father you've always hoped for; I meddled, pushed, did everything; just because I wanted to see _you_ happy. But even I had to admit defeat; he wasn't going to change for anything."

"Lost cause, huh?"

"After that night I realized why you were so weary of letting him in again; why you were always guarded around him. I saw what he'd done to you and how he'd fooled us all with his acts. And you kept forgiving him, always letting him come back and do whatever the hell he pleased and never even tried to correct _us_ or tell us to mind our own business even when we deserved it. You gave him multiple chances; did way more than I, or anyone, would do in your situation. If I were you, I don't think I'd ever give him the time of day again. You're a great man, DiNozzo. Don't ever doubt that." Gibbs also wanted to add that _'any father worth his salt would've been proud to have you as a son',_ but thought it was too soon; that it'd probably hurt Tony more, knowing that his father never really appreciated him and never showed him he was proud of the man he had become. So he just kept that last comment to himself.

Tony looked at the older man and smiled slightly, inclining his head in thanks. "I hate myself for still being mad at him; I feel like he took that chance away from me to ever forgive him fully and I'm mad at him for that and I hate myself for thinking that way when he's dead." He finally admitted to what was eating at him.

"He left you." Gibbs commented calmly, not showing how glad he was that Tony was finally opening up a little. "You were his only child and he did nothing to make amends with you; to regain your trust and forgiveness; nobody can't blame you for being mad at him. He did take that chance away and he made many more mistakes with you."

"Still-"

"Anger is one of the stages of grief; you know it."

"And what? I skipped the first stage?" Tony looked at his boss askance; he was sure he hadn't gone to denial.

"It's different for each person. Let's hope you skip the next two stages as well and jump straight to acceptance." Gibbs replied wisely. "You just need to remember that you're not alone. You still have us. Have me." He added sincerely.

Tony was a little misty-eyed when he looked up and after a few seconds of staring at his boss - _his friend-_ , he silently nodded his gratitude.

Acceptance seemed to be an approachable stage.

**.**

**.**

**And that's it!**

**.**


End file.
